‘You’ll wind up like that wreck you hide behind that mask you use’
In these times of uncertainty that we find ourselves in, I, like some, have found myself watching more movies, recently I watched Rocketman. This is based on the life of singer Elton John, to the outside world, Elton John was a wildly successful musician, playing to sold-out venues the world over, to his granny he was a shy talented boy, to this Dad, an odd boy, his mother, a hindrance, and to himself? Well, this is where the story starts. By the time Elton John signed himself into a rehabilitation centre he was a drug addict, a sex addict, a shopaholic, he was using cocaine, weed and prescription drugs on a daily basis swallowed down with large amounts of alcohol. He also struggled with his sexuality.
One of the final scenes in this movie is of a group therapy session where Elton forgives all those who hurt him throughout his early years of life and early stardom, and then he is sat in front of a young Reginald Dwight, his real name, and kneels down beside his younger self and gives him a hug, he is finally embracing the child he was an accepting him for who he was, but also acknowledging that he could never be that person again, it would seem, he never felt loved or accepted for who he was, and so on stage, he played out this elaborate lifestyle, a version of him that was loved, adored and most importantly of all excepted for who he ‘was’. The problem with this? This wasn’t who he was, so over the years the drugs, the sex, the shopping, all behaviours to fill a void, to try and feel loved, accepted or to escape.
This can be a vicious cycle for many many people, not always on the scale of Elton’s life, but when we struggle every day with feelings of being unloved, of not being good enough, of trying so hard to be someone we aren’t, hiding behind that mask, we eventually fell that we lose who we actually are or just don’t know any more, this can have crippling effects on our mental wellbeing, on our physical health and can inadvertently affect our everyday living.
What I find with many of those I work with that don’t or have never felt accepted or loved for who they are have found themselves trying to be someone else, pretending to like things they really don’t, doing things they don’t enjoy, never saying no to anyone, people pleaser’s, over the years this brings resentment, resentment for those around us who don’t love and accept us for who we are, but mostly I find that people are so angry at themselves.
Being able to love and accept ourselves for who we are can make a huge difference in our lives, being able to actually forgive ourselves, well, this is where we can completely turn our lives around. Letting go of anger and being able to forgive? This is when we can not only take the mask off but get rid of it forever.
‘I’m coming back, I got a taste of love in a simple way’